Wonderwall
by TheHPluver
Summary: After the death of Vulcan, Spock and Uhura's relationship begins to fall apart, but Nyota refuses to admit it. Meanwhile, Kirk is finally coming to terms with the fact that Nyota is the only girl he could ever allow himself to love . With this epiphany comes the crushing realization that he is entirely undeserving of her. Will feelings change over time? My summaries SUCK.
1. The End

**Chapter 1: The End**

_What were all those dreams we shared those many years ago?_**  
**

_What were all those plans we made now left beside the road?_

_Behind us in the road._

**Uhura**

He was pulling away...

It had been like this since the death of Vulcan. She thought things were getting better, but he was withdrawing into himself, deeper and deeper each day. The man she loved seemed to be hidden underneath the cold exterior that had now taken his place.

They barely spoke when they were together and no matter how much she wanted to fight for him, no words came to her lips when he left and she let his fingers slip away when he pulled them from her grip.

Soon the fleeting moments they _really_ spent together faded away and the only times she saw him were when they were both on deck. She occasionally looked up to see him watching her from his place by Kirk's side, but their was nothing soft about his gaze. It was penetrating, as if he saw right through her.

The end was coming and all she wanted to do was run away.


	2. Strange Feelings

**Kirk, M-11 Starbase Club**

"She just had this brightness about her that could boost anyone's mood." Uhura smiled sadly at the flute of wine inhabiting her hands.

Kirk had absolutely no idea how he ended up across the table of his teary-eyed communications officer. It was not how he he had planned to spend the night that he and his crew had off after successfully completing their first mission.

"And if she wasn't winning her way into your heart, she was winning her way into your pants." Kirk replied.

Uhura snorted, covering her mouth so that the alcohol did not come spurting out. "Very true."

Kirk thought, no knew, that by this time of the night he would usually be in the bed of a good looking club goer. Instead he was having a discussion about a past and now dead girlfriend. And he was surprisingly fine with that.

"She exasperated me to the point where I lost my temper and gave me many hellish nights in the library, but I loved her." Uhura had a big grin on her face, it lit up her features but had just a hint of melancholy to it. "She was my first friend at the academy and my closest. Those qualities that annoyed me were what made me adore her. Not a minute goes by where I don't think of her. I just- I _miss_ her so much." She clutched a hand to her chest, in obvious pain.

It was weird. He had never seen someone completely bare their heart to him before, especially someone that he thought despised him. He stared at her as she spoke, a strange feeling knotting in his chest and leaving him breathless as he saw the emotion build inside of her.

"It hurts, I know. We both cared about Gaila in our own way." He said when he realized that she was waiting for him to speak. He had been so transfixed with the emotion that was plain on her face, the one that she was showing to only him. "She was a handful, but one worth dealing with." He looked back down at the glass in front of him.

"I'm sorry," She chuckled with embarrassment and brushed a tear that had escaped off of her cheek. "I just haven't really talked to anyone about Gaila yet and you were here and I'm a little tipsy and I just needed to get it all out." Her eyes drifted down to her lap and she spoke quickly. "Normally there's Spock, but he just lost his mother and his planet and I'm in no situation to lament and push my emotions on him. I'll go now." She stood up and he felt an overwhelming need to give her some kind of comfort.

"Hey," he took hold of her arm just as she was about to leave. "Just because someone takes loss differently than you doesn't mean that your way is wrong or any less important." All the usual smugness he had was gone from his face as he stared up at her.

Uhura looked at him with surprise and blinked back the wetness that had worked its way up in her eyes. She offered him a small smile and gave the hand that held her arm a tight squeeze . "Thank you, Jim."

Kirk felt more strange, alien feelings rise up in him as he watched her make her way to the table the other female officers occupied. He stared down at the hand that had taken hold of her bare skin. It was quivering slightly. "Huh."

**Sorry for taking to long to put up the second chapter for those who were waiting. A mix of lots of schoolwork and writer's block! **


	3. Something About You

**Chapter 3: Something about you**

_There's something about you_

_Tears me inside out whenever you're around_

**Kirk**

The Enterprise was his, along with its trustworthy and capable crew. Everything he'd always imagined in his day dreams had come true and it had been much easier than he thought it would have ever been. He just had to save Earth, a couple thousand Vulcans and defeat an army of Romulans. Easy.

What he didn't imagine in his fantasies was the fear. He didn't let it show, but he was completely terrified. The entire ship and its inhabitants were his. Their safety was in his hands and nothing was scarier than being responsible for life.

He sat in the Enterprise theater thinking about just this. He wanted to be focused on the movie but his eyes and mind kept straying away from the screen in front of him. It was a classic from the 1990's: Pulp Fiction. A favorite of his.

"Great film, huh?" Kirk's head snapped up and looked to his right. Uhura sat at the end of the row he resided in.

"How long have you been there?" He asked.

"Since Vincent 'accidently' shot the boy inhabiting his back seat." She held up and bent the index and middle fingers of each hand when she said 'accidently' and let out the cutest laugh he'd ever heard. "So what's going on with you?" She asked after moving until there was just a few seats between them.

"What do you mean?" He thick eyebrows slanted.

"Well, you're watching a fantastic oldie but not really." She motioned at his slouched figure, crossed arms and the legs that rested on the top of the seat in front of him. "You act like you're relaxed but you can see that you're not in your face. What's the problem?"

He looked down at his intertwined arms with narrowed eyes and shook his head as he came up with a lie. "It's nothing. I just can't concentrate on anything for long. You know me."

"And that's you got the job as captain of the Enterprise, right." She smirked at him. "If you

don't want to tell me, it's fine-"

"That's just it. I didn't get this job under normal circumstances." He couldn't believe he was telling her this.

"You feel like you don't deserve it." She stated bluntly.

He paused for a few moments, staring off at the screen. "That's exactly it. I don't. I make a lot of stupid decisions and I act so confident about them but sometimes I just wonder if they were right. I hold the lives of so many people and one wrong turn could end them all."

She didn't waste any time with her response. "You know how you got the job? You saved billions of lives. It may not have been a normal promotion, but it was well deserved. And you definitely make brash decisions but it's because you're audacious and that's what makes you so great." She stared at him with a bit of a pissed off look on her face. "Also, you don't think it's every captain's worst dream to lose their crew? Just man up, or whatever it is that males say, and go do the job you were meant to do!"

He felt a heat spread through his body and the same feelings from the club just a few nights before rise up in him. It made him feel like he did after a few shots of vodka, all warm and fuzzy on the inside. He could also feel his face begin to heat up and he was grateful for the darkness of the theater. "Thanks... Nyota."

"It's nothing. You cheered me up before, so now it's my turn." She let out a tiny laugh that was just as cute as before. "Why is it that everytime we speak someone is pouring their heart out?"

"Well, you were drunk, you had an excuse." He commented.

"Maybe just a little bit." She smiled as she signaled that it was a small amount by holding her thumb and pointer an inch apart.

He liked this side of her, the playful and informal part he was really just getting to see. "Enjoy another Tarantino movie while the night is still young. I will see you on deck." She stood up to leave and he watched her until she was gone, feeling just as he did that one night. She knew exactly what was bothering him and just what to say to make him feel better. Much better.

He took her advice and when he finished, he left the theater and went to back to his room feeling more confident than ever, but as he prepared for bed his mind kept drifting back to one thing. While redressing he thought of her laugh, as he cleaned his teeth he remembered how she used quotations when describing the scene in the movie and smiled against his toothbrush and after he shut off the lights and pulled the covers over him, he could not fall asleep. Her words just repeated over and over in his mind.

* * *

**So, so, so sorry for the unbelievably late upload. I honestly worked on the story several times a week but I was really working on the ending and didn't have anything for the beginning. But here you go! Thanks so much to the people that are actually keeping up with the story!**

**Also, I don't know if you can tell but I'm a huge Quentin Tarantino fan and I want his movies to be loved well into the future :)**


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